After living in China for over a year and a half, you start thinking that you're on the verge of understanding the Chinese mentality. Hahaha!
A good case in point is our driver who David found out was cheating on his expense reports. When David asked him about receipts that seemed too high, he acted all insulted. The next time David pulled him aside and told him to explain the high parking fees, he launched into a long story about a man who discovered some rouge activities and decided to look the other way since it was no skin off his back. David caught on and responded with our definition of cheating and the fiscal responsibility he holds to his company as their controller and finance manager. All puzzled, the driver continued to express disappointment that David made his attempt to supplement driver income a big deal and that the only thing wrong was David acting on his discovery. Needless to say, we now have a new driver.
The same sentiment of "Right" and "Wrong" is reflected in everyday life. You are in the right if you don't get caught and wrong if you hinder other people's quest to run a shady business even if it personally hurts you.
Another concept that has been tough to accept is that there is no win-win. You either win or you loose and either way, it's no big deal. If you loose, next time you hope to win. But if you try to work out for a win solution to our counterpart who appears to be loosing, you actually come across as a looser yourself since you are not accepting your win and moving on.
Now the worst example of an attempted win-win gone wrong is the recent Fox news item about a housekeeper who thought she was being fired and in her anger hurt the family's toddler. The family had bought her a train ticket as a present to go back home to visit her relatives over the Chinese New Year holidays. The housekeeper thought the family was going to fire her and send her back to her native province. It never occured to her that the family may have bought the ticket to be nice. Win-win. To her, it only meant one thing; she was being fired and sent home. Win-Loose.
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